Newborn Tips and Tricks
We all know that bringing home a newborn changes the structure of our lives, mainly our sleep schedules. We hear it from family, friends, and even strangers; “Better get sleep now because it will be the last time”. It’s natural for our sleep to be disrupted because newborns sleep cycles are still developing but our lives don’t have to be consumed with sleep deprivation. Our healthcare system and providers do not take the time to educate us on newborn sleep and because of this we find ourselves questioning the right thing to do.
The number one reason our children struggle with sleep is because they do not know how to connect their sleep cycles. They’re capable of doing this but they need opportunities to practice doing so. Babies are born with self-soothing abilities. These abilities need to be practiced and refined over the first several weeks and months of their life. Most babies, however, are never given this opportunity because parents, including me, make the mistake of swooping in everytime we hear our babies cry and which impedes their ability to practice connecting sleep cycles.
It doesn’t help that we’ve been conditioned to think that not responding immediately to every cry is harmful and abusive.
As parents continue to be at odds on the validity of sleep training the research is not. All research pertaining to sleep training agrees that sleep is a learned trait and that sleep training your child is not harmful. The benefits of sleep training far outweigh the short-term stress that tears produce. It does not cause brain damage or harm the bond between parent and child. In fact, the research shows that not providing the necessary sleep for your child is harmful to their development; both short-term and long-term.
It’s important to understand that you can be a supportive parent to newborns while also encouraging them to grow and refine their skills. There are things we can do to help find the balance of being present and supportive without hindering their developing strengths.
How To Grow Your Baby’s Abilities
Observe Your Baby. If your baby cries, whether at night or while playing, stand back and observe them. Not all cries need intervention. It’s in these moments where babies strengthen their coping skills. Give your baby 5 minutes to work through their frustration. If they’re still frustrated after 5 minutes then it’s time to intervene.
Keep A Schedule. Knowing when your baby last ate, slept, or had a diaper change will help you know if your baby is tired, hungry, or simply having a moment of frustration. Downloading an app or keeping notes on your phone is an easy way to keep track.
Full Feeds. Babies LOVE to doze off while eating, cutting their caloric intake short of what they need. Making sure your baby gets a full feed when they eat will ensure they don’t need to eat again an hour later. When babies get full feeds they can usually make it 2.5-3 hours between feeds helping their days feel more stable and predictable. It also helps you to know whether or not their cries are from hunger or from a moment of frustrations. And lastly, but certainly not least, getting a full feed also helps break the eat-to-sleep association which babies easily become dependent on as the weeks pass.
Naps. Offer lots of naps for your little one. An overtired baby will definitely be fussy and possibly inconsolable. Babies can handle 45-90 minutes of wake time before their brains and bodies need rest. Watch for sleepy cues to determine which wake window your baby can handle.
Start on Day One. It’s never too early to start sleep training. Babies are smarter and more capable than we understand. If you start on day one you’ll have a well adjusted baby by 4 months of age. And a majority of you will have a sleeping baby by 2 months.
The false narrative on the ill-effects of sleep training has caused more parents to abandon the idea of sleep training their children. We all need sleep, especially in those first few months and years, but we don’t make it a priority and therefore causing a sleep epidemic. Sleep is necessary for our mental and physical health and should be a priority.
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