Sleep Training Methods
Oftentimes, when sleep training is mentioned, many people picture the agonizing scene of parents listening to their baby cry alone in a dark room. But rest assured, there are many other sleep training methods available, created by parents and pediatricians alike, who sought something that better aligned with their family’s sleep goals and personality.
And good news! You aren’t relegated to a one-size-fits-all plan either. You can customize your own plan as long as you follow these three important guidelines:
You must understand and prioritize your child’s sleep needs,
You and your partner must communicate and agree on sleep boundaries and,
You must apply these boundaries lovingly and consistently.
Methods
Sleep training methods can be categorized into three main groups: Direct, Gentle, and Intermediate.
Direct Methods: These methods get directly to the point. They require little or no involvement from the parents and they yield quicker results.
Cry-it-out: The most effective yet least used. Parents have a hard time leaving their children to cry without any intervention so it’s usually reserved for severe cases where parents and child need immediate results.
Gentle Methods: these methods are also called ‘gentle methods’ because they allow the parents to be more involved in helping soothe the child. These methods require more consistency from the parents and usually take twice as long to yield results.
Pick-Up/Put-Down: This method is the most gentle as it allows you to pick up your child as soon as they fuss or cry. The attempt is to lay them down awake, and see if they can fall asleep. If they cry, you may pick them up until they’re calm and then lay them back down again. You will repeat this until they fall asleep on their own. Note: This only works on children 3 months and younger.
The Ladder: Is also best used for children under the age of 4 months. This method is perfect for helping your newborns hone in on their self-soothing skills while also providing support. It’s a series of soothing techniques that starts with the least invasive (the bottom of the ladder) and gradually moves to more invasive/helpful techniques as you “climb the ladder”. The goal is to give your baby space by not jumping in and doing the job for them. It may be helpful to think of yourself as a coach, and your baby as a player. They will need to complete the task on their own (sleep) with your gentle encouragement. You can still offer support with the least invasive step while also giving them the opportunity to strengthen their self-soothing abilities.
The Chair Method: It’s a gradual approach for children 5 months and older. It relies on your presence alone to help your child feel comfortable enough to fall asleep independently. Starting by their bed, you distance the chair every three nights until you’re completely out of the room and your child no longer needs your presence to fall asleep. This can take a minimum of 2 weeks.
Intermediate Methods: These methods take the direct and indirect methods and create a middle-ground option. These methods are the most popular because it still allows parents to be involved while also giving the child enough space to work on their own self-soothing skills.
The Check Method: This approach combines your presence and intervals, both which have a limit. You allow 5 minutes of crying before intervening. You then go in, offer comfort, and leave. Your presence in the room should be brief and just a reminder that you are near to help but not to do the job. These 5-minute intervals never increase or decrease. The consistency helps the child detect a pattern, get comfortable, and eventually fall asleep on their own.
Ferberizing: This is the original interval method. You start out with 5 minutes and increase your intervals each time you do a check-in. First you’ll wait 5 minutes, go do a check, then wait 10, then 15, then 20 until you reach a point your child falls asleep independently.
DIY Methods: If you don’t love the rigidity of a particular method, you have the freedom to modify one to suit your own family’s circumstances, needs, and beliefs. The majority of the above mentioned methods were created because parents felt a need to design a technique that worked better for them. All it takes is a good understanding of your child’s sleep needs.
Tears
Regardless of the method there WILL be tears. Even those no-cry sleep solutions have tears. The direct method will not have any more tears than the indirect. With the direct method, the bulk of the tears will be experienced in the first couple of nights, while the indirect method spreads the tears out over the course of two weeks. The truth is, tears are to be expected, especially for non-verbal children. Tears are your child’s way of communicating, so take heart and don’t get discouraged. Tears are a necessary part of the journey to improving sleep quantity and quality for the entire family. Remember, any time you are modifying a behavior (ex. reducing sugar intake, weaning a bottle, weaning a pacifier, hitting, biting, etc.) you can always expect tears and even a few tantrums.
A special note of encouragement...Tears do not cause psychological harm, nor do they diminish the special bond you have with your child. Prioritizing and setting healthy sleep boundaries is a loving thing to do.
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